The Half-Sister, and other items of interest.

26 02 2008

So, when I was a little kid, I may or may not have met a girl who’s probably my half-sister. If memory serves–and there’s no reason why it shouldn’t–I almost met her at a Wal-Mart in or around my former hometown of Odessa, MO. Almost, because I’m pretty sure she just ran away between the aisles. Stupid girls.

Now, some seventeen years later, she’s back in our lives. And, if that wasn’t exciting enough, she wants to know about her biological father. I almost don’t have the heart to tell her about my–our, what ever–dad. It’s not that he’s a bad guy, or anything. He’s just a forty-three year-old kid.

To provide a frame of reference: I’m twenty-four, with a cumulative score of zero on my Illegitimate/Accidental Children test. At twenty-four, my dad had already sired me, my brother, and, apparently, my half-sister. My little sister, Callie, was probably readily on the way, too.

If that doesn’t seem like a feat, there’s this: he was nineteen when I was born, and my brother is four years my junior.  

That’s four kids in less than five years, if you’ve been keeping count.

I hope you’ll excuse me if I say, “How the jumping Christ does someone manage that?

“Well,” you might answer. “It comes from being insanely irresponsible, obviously.”

To which I wouldn’t answer, only nod my head in tacit agreement.

Other Items

Higher Education Apparently, according to the Associated Press, Californians at Oaksterdam* University are paying $200 for a two-day course to train in the burgeoning medical marijuana industry. I guess they don’t realize that the same course is offered for free in Texas.

It’s called “public high school”. Keep your admissions fees, guys. We’ll show you how to turn that $200 into a cool grand in three days.

You Gotta Keep ‘Em Separated Again from the AP, a county in Georgia is segregating its males and females into completely isolated groups. The problem here, as I see it, is that eventually all schools in America will be doing the same thing.

It won’t be long now ’til we have headmasters and rampant sodomy in the boys’ schools. Well, I mean in the public schools. Private schools don’t consider that sort of thing to be a problem. I guess the KKK will have to decide which side it’s on, too.

*Is it just me, or does “Oaksterdam” seem like the dumbest college name since South Harmon Institute of Technology?