Gallery of Unsexy Things

So I was thinking earlier today, “Why shouldn’t I have a gallery of unsexy things on my blog?”

Here’s why:

Imagine the damn moose that knuckle came from. IMAGINE IT

Imagine the damn moose that knuckle came from. IMAGINE IT

To be fair, she is marketed by Disney. They thrive on ugly illegal sex.

To be fair, she is marketed by Disney. They thrive on ugly illegal sex.

Its not really even about all the testicles, you know? Theres just something that says Ugh about this guy.

It's not really even about all the testicles, you know? There's just something that says "Ugh" about this guy.

I guess pulling out huge chunks of hair didnt stop Mittens habit of staring balefully at things.

I guess pulling out huge chunks of hair didn't stop Mittens' habit of staring balefully at things.

I AM NOT MEANT FOR ONSCREEN SEXINESS

I AM NOT MEANT FOR ONSCREEN SEXINESS

Oh, those are nice. Going duck hunting? Are you? Hmm? ARE YOU FUCKING GOING DUCK HUNTING I AM MAKING FUN OF YOUR CHOICE OF FOOTWEAR

Oh, those are nice. Going duck hunting? Are you? Hmm? ARE YOU FUCKING GOING DUCK HUNTING I AM MAKING FUN OF YOUR CHOICE OF FOOTWEAR

 

 

Did you ever see Boondock Saints? Its actually possible for Willem Dafoe to look worse than this.

Did you ever see Boondock Saints? It's actually possible for Willem Dafoe to look worse than this.

 

 

No, this isnt him.

No, this isn't him.

 

 

Skinny jeans look stupid on everyone.

Skinny jeans look stupid on everyone.

 

 

Because I love waiting three days for my blog to open and for Java to never work.

Because I love waiting three days for my blog to open and for Java to never work.

 

Mmm, fresh Little Caesar's.

Mmm, fresh Little Caesar's.

 

It's his real face. I swear.
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3 responses

15 01 2009
jim

you forgot to include your picture in this line up.

15 01 2009
The Schroederist

A couple years ago, I lost all legal rights to any reproduction or photograph bearing my likeness. I can’t really go into it, for legal reasons, but apparently your mom’s spank site copyrighted my image.

11 07 2009
Cap'n Eric

oh, Willem Defoe, you silly, silly bitch.

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