Thank you for calling technical support. Allow me to direct you to a fire to die in.

21 05 2009

So I have a new job at a tech support call center. My interview was this morning, and I managed to not embarrass myself too horribly despite only having slept about three hours the night before. I’m still not clear on my actual job description, but the interviewer/hiring manager said something about ‘computer data analysis’ or something. Apparently it’s different from a regular tech-support job, since I’ll be fielding and examining raw data rather than handling disgruntled and ignorant DSL customers.

I take that to mean I’ll be dealing with sarcastic, socially awkward IT goons instead, which doesn’t seem like much of a trade-off.

Anyway, at least this is relevant to my career in some vague sense. In about two years I’ll be moving to Waco to start my network security engineering degree, so any kind of computer-related activity is fairly valuable. At least moreso than delivering pizza.

I liked my job at the pizza place. It helped me learn the town’s layout better than my girlfriend, who has just completed her third year of college here in San Marcos. In that time, she learned a solid five or six streets. That’s fairly commendable, especially considering all the times I’ve been to her tiny seaside hometown without commiting more than her street to memory. There’s a bridge; that much I can say for sure.

I’m not entirely certain if I’ll be in a cubicle. If so, this will mark the very first time I’ll ever have use of one. I’ve had desks, departments, ‘areas’ and stations, but never a cubicle. That thought just occurred to me, and now I’m beginning to fear my new job.

Training starts Tuesday.





3 responses

22 05 2009

Ask everyone who sends you data for analysis if they’ve tried rebooting their computer.

Or send their data back to them with the words, “black cock” in hex. Oh yeah, I went there.

Off topic, did I see that you had one of your articles ripped off? If memory serves (which is questionable, because I conflate people and events for simplicity into one massive, multi-boobed, multi-schlonged, mega-transactional happenstance motivated equally by both fate and free will), I saw an ejaculation etiquette guide recently that I thought sounded like your original idea, but I can’t remember where I saw the original.

23 05 2009
The Schroederist

Whatever problem I encounter, I’m going to suggest “Jiggle the handle” and “Press Ctrl+Alt+Del” as my go-to solutions.

Also, I’m almost positive I’ve never written such an etiquette guide. Maybe the Audobon Society wrote a helpful field guide about me.

23 05 2009

Now I recall. It was indeed a field guide. Actually, it was addressed from Janet Napolitano. Specifically about sperm. Yours. Borders were mentioned.

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