Walker, Texas Radical

28 04 2009

A few days ago, the Internet’s Greatest Hero, the above-pictured Chuck Norris, made a cute little quip on the stark-raving Fox News maven Glenn Beck’s podcast. Mr. Norris, apparently woefully ignorant of his own home state’s actual legal standing, threw his (white) hat in the ring to become the next President of Texas. Because when you think of Texas, is Chuck Norris ever not involved in some way?

As if that little tidbit wasn’t juicy (read: stupid) enough, the esteemed martial arts master went ahead and posted this unsettling diatribe about not only Texas’ right to secede, but our obligation to rebel against our oppressive federal overlords. What caught my eye, besides Norris’ incredible feat of making Sam Houston sound like a cheap rabble-rousing terrorist, was Chuckles’ unfortunate usage of language most commonly used to describe Al Qaeda. 

Maybe it’s just me, but this

Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation.

seems just a wee bit in bad taste. 

Then again, maybe Chuck is our only hope. If he can somehow use his awful acting and awkward Chuck-fu to fight the menacing swine flu outbreak, I’d vote for him. If, you know, Kinky Friedman wasn’t on the ballot.




One response

28 04 2009

I’ll give Chuck an ounce of credibility when he loses that horrible toupee

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