The dog, he is fat; I am missing part of myself; The Bamboo and the Gimp

25 02 2009

Hey kids. Let me start off by not apologizing in any way about my absence. I have my reasons. 

Also, a pretty doctor removed part of my face this morning. Specifically, the lower left  first-molar part of my face. She is evidently very strong, in addition to being quite attractive, because the entire yanking process* took about ten minutes. Sadly, owing to my overactive revenge gland, I am still honor-bound to wreak havoc upon her village for causing me direct physical harm. 

I have an abcess in my jaw, which in addition to being incredibly painful is also very dangerous. My aunt suffered massive trauma and invasive brain surgery as a result of an unnoticed abcess in her upper mandible that eventually found its way into her skull just behind the temporal lobe. She had to re-learn everything she ever knew, and up until about six years ago still couldn’t put 5 and 7 together to make 12. She said it was like a dream where you cry out but no sounds come from you, except it was her brain that was silently screaming, and it was most certainly not a dream.

So I suffered the indignities of a tooth extraction to save my admittedly unimportant brain. On the whole, I’d say it was not a completely valueless experience. 

Prior to any tooling around in my mouth**, I turned 25 this month. My awesome girlfriend bought me a Wacom Bamboo graphics tablet, which is so much better than a mouse that I spent literally two straight weeks just doodling. I inadvertently ruined her planned surprise by telling her I was going to go buy one just a day or two before my actual birthday, and she was compelled to reveal my gift ahead of schedule. I was almost actually sorry, but not quite. 

Utilizing my vague understanding of the principles of webcomics and illustrative methodology, I drew a series of comics called Fat Dog. They were surprisingly well-received by all who viewed them, and an artist I know from Cracked’s forum (and who was also a colleague of mine during the original Da Hell? Comics days on John Cheese’s website) privately congratulated me and invited me to submit Fat Dog to the new retarded comics section of Juvenile Comedy. Mack (John Cheese) didn’t like the font I used, so I haven’t submitted anything else.

The comics, in order of creation:







*Yes, yanking process. I stand by my choice of words and see nothing improper about the phrase.

**Okay, maybe that phrase was a little bit improper.