Wow, I haven’t posted anything in a long time.

13 01 2009

My apologies to all my diehard fans. I’m sure these past however-many days and weeks have been hell for both of you.

If you’re curious as to why I haven’t been updating like I should, it’s because you’re a nosy asshole who should mind his own damned business. It’s also because I am no longer the laid-back country boy I was nine or ten months ago. My plate is almost completely full.

With what, you ask? Why, all of my fun extracurricular activities, of course!

I know I told you guys about the game review job. Well, turns out it was like totally for-reals, as they say in Maine. I have received two (2) free ($0.00) video games in the mail, and have written one and 3/4 reviews of them. To briefly paraphrase my work so far:

Far Cry 2 is a fucking terrible game.

Prince of Persia is

I’ve already submitted the first review to the poor misguded soul who appreciates my writing, though the version I sent her is a little longer. Prince of Persia, as it happens, is really long. According to Gamespot, it’s 50+ hours of story. Over fifty hours of gameplay in story mode, and that’s not counting the many hours a person like me can spend becoming perfectly, helplessly lost. Even if I could somehow make it through the entire game without a single hitch, I’d still have barely enough time to do my usual “real-life” stuff. I have a girlfriend, a  job, a dog, and a band-if I needed more than 4 hours of sleep a night I’d be screwed.

Then there’s the whole issue of me not owning either a PS3 or an XBox 360, and having to resort to camping out on other people’s consoles. Let me not get started on that topic.

Also, I am in a bluegrass band. I jammed with (or auditioned for, apparently) three incredibly talented guys who have played together for five years, and I managed to mangle pretty much everything they threw at me. Evidently the damage wasn’t severe enough to warrant kicking me out of the band I didn’t know I was joining, so I remain happily in a pretty awesome bluegrass band. I’ve learned that bluegrass lead guitar is fun, but if you want to be good at it it’s a hell of a challenge. I still haven’t worked up the nerve to solo in front of the guys, which sounds like the filthiest gay innuendo ever uttered in my blog.

Sorry about that.