The Hippie Contagion

25 06 2008

The one thing I truly hate about San Marcos, I’ve decided, is the passive-aggressive nature of its inhabitants. In a town of thirty-thousand college kids and all the misguided idiot bullshit those crazy kids can think up, people are infuriatingly mild. Nobody wants to offend anyone, so as a result nobody ever has a fucking opinion on anything.

I’m a fan of a good old-fashioned healthy debate, but in this town it’s nearly impossible to hear someone voice an opinion that isn’t homogenized to the point of utter impotency. “That sucks” is a phrase only heard under the most severe conditions, and practically never when it’s about something someone else might enjoy. A quick example:

Did your grandmother die in a car wreck while on her way to complete the will granting you millions of dollars?

“That sucks.”

Did you hear that new Nickleback song on the radio? 

“It’s, I mean, I guess it’s okay if you’re into that kind of music, which I’m not, but it’s sort of not so bad. Some people like it.”

Sounds like exaggeration, right? I’ve got to be blowing things out of proportion again. Sadly, that’s about right: no one will say anything sucks if there’s the slightest chance someone else might disagree. People in this town are fucking terrified of confrontation.

I guess it’s mostly the fault of all the college kids, the majority of whom are smarmy glad-handers who wouldn’t say a negative thing about anything unless everyone else is saying it, too. Annoying assholes. 

Me, I have opinions. I like to debate things, and if I think something sucks, I’ll damn sure tell you to your face. You should see the looks I get sometimes. It’s amazing. I’ve seen a whole gas station full of filthy oh-so-fucking-hip nineteen-year-olds collectively cringe when I said I hated American Idol. American Idol! 

Are you fucking kidding me? Since when did being in college mean that you had to check your opinions against everyone else’s? I thought higher education bred dissent from the norm. No, now it breeds consent. It breeds conformity. It breeds a generation of pussies.

The worst part is that, every so often, I find a kindred spirit. I’ll say something about something else, and I’ll catch someone smiling nervously behind their hands, afraid to show their amusement. These poor fools. They’re worse off than the college students, in that at least the students are self-righteous enough to think that what they’re doing is the only way to do things.

Those sorry bastards who crawfish every time they hear someone like me call someone else an ignorant dick have it so bad, I can’t even imagine being where they are. Is it so hard to just say “That sucks” without fear of reprisal? Do you honestly have to apologize every time you have something to say? I can get behind trying to live in harmony with your neighbors, but I’ll be goddamned if my neighbors’ feelings are going to affect my observations and opinions. I like this town, but it’ll be a cold day in Hell before I start mincing words just because some hyper-liberal Green Nazi* vegan poli-sci major doesn’t like my views on Barack Obama. Fuck those people. 

*”Green Nazi”, by the way, is my term for this new breed of anti-everything liberal whose only apparent purpose in life is to make everyone else as miserable as they are. “Save the trees, but fuck the people” is their motto. Fuck them. And the trees.




One response

25 06 2008

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