A Conversation of Note

26 02 2008

 There’s a damned good reason why my family has so few reunions. When you get too many Schroeders in one place, things get a wee bit disturbing. Conversations like this next one are all too common.

 In polite company, unpleasant subjects are usually ignored or tactfully passed over. With us, they get broken down into component parts and examined minutely. This leads to certain aspects of a subject that you personally didn’t want to consider being aired out in front of other people, and sometimes even hotly debated in public.

 Anyway, my brother and I were discussing something, I really can’t remember what, and the whole situation just kind of devolved. As is my tendency, I delved way too deeply into a subject that most people wouldn’t give a moment’s thought.

 Enjoy.

Me: ‘Yeah, there’s a whole subgroup of people who seem to enjoy being shat on, or even get off on eating feces.’

Him: ‘What? People actually like that?’

Me: ‘Sure. I mean, there’s a whole philia named just for that specific pastime.’

Him: ‘Ugh.’

Me: ‘But what I want to know is if there’s some sort of diet regimen among the groups of people who get together to crap on one another.’

Him: ‘Um…’

Me: ‘You know, like if there’s a “no butter or cheese” rule.’

Him: ‘Well, yeah. You wouldn’t want it to be all lumpy.’

Me: ‘Or… greasy.’

Him: ‘Ugh!’

Me: ‘And how would they schedule it, anyway? Are there laxatives involved?’

Him: ‘What?’

Me: ‘Well, I usually go first thing in the morning, so it would be like, “Wake up, honey. I have to crap.”‘

Him: *blank stare*

Me: ‘Not everyone would be in the mood to be pooped on at the same time, is what I’m saying.’

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2 responses

26 02 2008
A Conversation of Note

[…] Glenn wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt There’s a damned good reason why my family has so few reunions. When you get too many Schroeders in one place, things get a wee bit disturbing. Conversations like this next one are all too common.  In polite company, unpleasant subjects are usually ignored or tactfully passed over. With us, they get broken down into component parts and examined minutely. This leads to certain aspects of a subject that you personally didn’t want to consider being aired out in front of other people, and sometimes even hotly debated in public.  Anyway, my brother and I were discussing something, I really can’t remember what, and the whole situation just kind of devolved. As is my tendency, I delved way too deeply into a subject that most people wouldn’t give a moment’s thought.  Enjoy. Me: ‘Yeah, there’s a whole subgroup of people who seem to enjoy being shat on, or even get off on eating feces.’ Him: […] […]

26 02 2008
Captain Eric

I’m reading this post again, and remembering how much I laughed the first time I read it, and I’m currently getting odd looks from my roommate.

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